Is conflict at work always a bad thing? 

First of all, a brief definition: what do we mean by conflict at work?  

By default, the word evokes something very negative, when it shouldn't necessarily. Obviously, a conflict that becomes a heated argument (we certainly can't get into fistfights at work), intimidation, or harassment (don't go there) is neither desirable nor constructive.  

But fortunately, most conflicts do not lead to such extreme outcomes. As in our private lives, most conflicts at work are caused by disagreements, reactions to misunderstandings, frustrations, or other "unspoken" issues.  

We may find ourselves in conflict about ideas, how we work, how we interact with others...For example: your colleagues have a habit of giggling while watching TikToks together while you're on calls with a client. Working with people involves dealing with different opinions, attitudes, and habits, and this sometimes leads to conflict. In short, conflict often arises when there is a misunderstanding (or no understanding at all).  

Is your manager – who is your boss, your team member, and sometimes your confidant, all at the same time – more exposed to conflicts? 

You could say that, yes. Because in fact, being a manager often means resolving conflicts that arise in a team. That may be Matt's habit of leaving his dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, or Leah's habit of interrupting meetings. Or, it may simply be your overactive imagination: believing that someone is talking about you behind your back, etc. The examples are endless.  

As managers, we also need to give regular constructive feedback. So sometimes we are the ones who start the conflict. But the thing I've learned is that even if the feedback is hard to give, you have to give it. That's because if it's hard to say, it means it's a serious problem for the team or the project... 

What are your tips for dealing with conflict at work? 

First, say what you have to say. It'd be best if you could do it in the right way and use the right tone, but even if you can't, it's better to say what you have to say, rather than to keep it to yourself. Letting the situation get bogged down or leaving things unsaid could lead to more serious conflict or source of anxiety. So, let it out – say what it is that you don't like. The challenge is to learn to pick your battles, not to jump straight into the ring, and above all, use your soft skills and show emotional intelligence. Just step back for a moment: a particular reaction, an exchange, or whatever else may give you certain ideas, when in fact, 80% of the time, it's nothing. We build things up in our own heads, and this creates artificial tensions.  

Afterwards, for managers and everyone who has to give sensitive feedback, my advice is to try not to embellish things. Avoid what we call the "positivity burger": putting something negative between two slices of positive. That means saying, for example, 'the first one's great, but the second one... well, anyway, the third one is good too.' When that happens, the other person is left wondering, 'what are they trying to say?... ' Instead, you have to accept that there may be a potentially negative moment and take the time to say what you mean in a clear, factual manner. And if it's just a feeling, explain it. Don't start attacking the other person with 'you always do this or that'; instead, say 'when you do this, when you say that, this is how I hear it, this is how I feel'. Finally, the more calmly you can say things, the calmer the other person will be.  

But you can't always see the conflict coming.... 

That much is clear. Whatever happens, keep as calm as possible. If the situation seems unavoidable, you can always postpone the conversation. Saying 'Okay, we can't resolve this today. We can't discuss it calmly. Let's take a little time, write down some notes, make sure we understand all the details (because it's not unusual for a conflict to occur when we are not equally informed), and then discuss it again.  

Note: I'm not saying you should keep quiet or give up, but that you should do what you can to resume the debate on a more positive basis, even if that means taking it upon yourself. Keeping a cool head is key. In any case, managing conflict at work requires effort. But you should know that this effort is not in vain.  

How can conflict be constructive, or even highly beneficial? 

The reward is that you often come out of a conflict with a much better situation, relationship, or idea than you started with. That's because conflict arise where there are differences. Either you stay within everyone's comfort zone, or you widen your circle a little, step outside the box, look at things from a different angle. When you change your way of thinking, when you force yourself to see what others see and to understand how they think, that's when innovation, change, and awareness emerge, when you surpass yourselves and create collective intelligence.  

And when you emerge from conflict with a consensus, a compromise, or even total agreement, that really reinforces the confidence that you can have in yourself and the relationships you have with people. To overcome conflict, to say the things we couldn't say – it's a victory for everyone.  

Does the company's culture have an impact on conflicts at work, when they arise and how we deal with them?  

Definitely. As a young graduate, you may have a tendency to think that a company's values are secondary, abstract, or just a marketing tool to attract talent. Many of the students we talk to at JobTeaser say 'yeah right, we all have the same values, we all say we have integrity, we all listen... blah blah blah'.  

But in my opinion, even if you can skip the details in the job offer, you should pay attention to how you feel during the interview. This is a good time to see and feel how human relations are managed in the company and if you're going to be in permanent conflict... which would be much less positive.