[EXERCISE] Turning stress into a useful tool

Between the accelerating heart rate, the profuse sweating and the urge to go to the bathroom, stress often makes us lose our nerve. And of course, it always takes place in an important situation - a job interview, a crucial test or a public presentation... It's even bad for our health. Fortunately, there is a solution: learning to perceive stress in a positive way (link to article). To turn stress into a strength, you need to practice. Here is an exercise that allows you to voluntarily put yourself in a stressful situation, and work on changing the perception of the physiological responses that will be caused by this situation. To do this, you will need a friend or colleague. 

Exercise 

• Put yourself in a place where people will pass you by. A place where you are sure you will not be quiet, a hallway for instance. 
• List the multiplication tables from 1 to 9 to the person accompanying you. To generate stress, this person may interrupt you, show disapproving faces or make noise to annoy you. Anything goes. 
• While your partner is doing everything to throw you off balance, try to focus on sensing your body signals: listen to your heartbeat, and be aware of your breathing. 
• If you don't feel any of the physiological signals of stress, you are probably too good at maths. Try the exercise again with something more intimate. For instance, tell a story that is personal and generates strong emotional responses - your biggest moment of shame for instance. The important thing is to choose an exercise that will generate stress in you, so if you lose your nerve as soon as someone observes you dancing, you'll probably have to wiggle out of this exercise.

Debriefing the exercise 

Once the exercise is over, recall any physiological stress reactions you may have perceived during the exercise. Describe them to the person accompanying you. Describe them in a positive way and explain how they helped you to cope with the exercise. 

• Your heart beating faster and your breathing quickening allowed you to stay focused despite the distractions around you by increasing your ability to concentrate. 
• Focusing on your breathing, which was more audible than usual, helped you ignore surrounding distracting stimuli. 
• A more intense perception of your body helped you stay grounded in the present moment. And to reduce anxiety about anticipating future stressors. 
• A stronger muscular tension helped you feel stronger in your support and gain confidence. 

Even if you do not manage to complete the exercise, you can still debrief. The aim is to see the learning that you have gained from this experience in a positive light. Thanks to them, you will surely succeed in completing the challenge next time. 

What happens next? 

Once the debriefing is over, you can then reverse the roles with your partner in this exercise, so that they can experience it for themselves. In addition, sharing the stressful experience will strengthen your relationship. Indeed, stress helps to connect us to each other, to make us more empathetic, to strengthen the social bonds that are the foundation of our societies.